Do you hate the fact that your man still communicates with his ex? Is there a child involved? Do you hate the fact they even have a “friendship”? Are you worried that his ex might try to creep her way back into his life and take him away from you? Have you took the time to ask yourself why you feel so strongly about this? I mean is it worth you and your guy getting into constant arguments? Are you being a little too insecure?
You are not alone in feeling all these emotions. In fact many women feel this way, they may or may not express it but trust me their feeling it. The fact that your man once had a relationship with that person is reason enough to feel discomfort. But what you must understand is that he chose to be in relationship with you and not her. You are the girlfriend, wife, or fiancé and not the ex remember that.
Men often times cannot see the intentions of a woman and may not even be aware that his ex is trying to come after him. It is your job to inform your man about your concerns appropriately without turning it into something that makes you look insecure or jealous.
If there is a child or children involved your man has to have a relationship with his ex in order to be able to co-parent. If you are feeling uncomfortable about the nature of the closeness then you must inform him that certain boundaries must be set because you are feeling uncomfortable. But you cannnot get upset if he is going to her home to visit his children or if he is talking to her pertaining to things related to his child or children. Now if they are communicating about things unrelated to the child or children then this maybe inappropriate and grounds for a discussion around boundaries.
You also have to evaluate the level of trust you have in your relationship with your man. Remember infidelity can happen with anyone not just with his ex. Some may say, “I trust my man but I just don’t trust her”, but if you trust your man you will know that if he was put in any questionable situation that he would make the right decision. So if you are feeling so strongly about this situation then you really do not trust your man or his ex.
If you do not trust someone then you shouldn’t be with that person at all. Unless your man has given you reasons to feel insecure about his behavior then you should not be worried about his past because we all have pasts even you yourself. So you really should not worry about his ex, and to make sure that he is aware of your feelings and is able to set respectful boundaries with his ex.
Why You Shouldn’t Worry About Your Man’s Ex
- Remember he is with you not her
- He’s not hiding your relationship from anyone, including his ex — he’s proud to be with you
- If you keep worrying, it will cause a rift in your relationship and maybe even end it eventually.
- He handles your ex-boyfriends in a healthy way
- He tells you if he ran into her or heard from her
- He never references her or their relationship unless you bring it up.
- You’re Awesome just take a look in the mirror!