We are constantly hearing stories of bullying happening at schools but rarely hear about it happening on the workplace. According to research conducted by Dr. Judy Blando (University of Phoenix) it was proven that almost 75% of employees surveyed had been affected by workplace bullying, whether as a target or a witness.

The Worplace Bullying Institute defines it as :

repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is :

• Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or

• Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done, or

• Verbal abuse

 

Let’s continue to discuss this topic a little further because it is just as serious as bullying that takes place at school. It has serious physical and emotional effects.

 Even if you are not the target of workplace bullying it can effect you too. How?

 Bullying on the workplace just like school shootings can end in violence, when the victim feels like they have had enough and just snaps. I can remember 8 years ago there was a workplace shooting that took place in Connecticut. It was the deadliest workplace shooting in Connecticut history. Omar Thornton, an African American man, gunned down eight people and injured two others at Hartford Distributors, a beer distribution company, before taking his own life.

The Workplace Bullying Institute suggests the following:

Step One – Name it! Legitimize Yourself!

1. Choose a name — bullying, psychological harassment, psychological violence, emotional abuse — to offset the effect of being told that because your problem is not illegal, you cannot possibly have a problem. This makes people feel illegitimate. The cycle of self-blame and anxiety begins.
2. The source of the problem is external. The bully decides how to target and how, when, and where to harm people. You did not invite, nor want, the systematic campaign of psychological assaults and interference with your work. Think about it. No sane person wakes up each day hoping to be humiliated or berated at work.
3. There is tremendous healing power in naming. Hard to believe at first, but very true.

Step Two – Take Time Off to Heal & Launch a Counterattack

Accomplish five (5) important tasks while on sick leave or short-term disability (granted by your physician).

1. Check your mental health with a professional (not the employer’s EAP). Get emotionally stable enough to make a clear-headed decision to stay and fight, or to leave for your health’s sake. Your humanity makes you vulnerable; it is not a weakness, but a sign of superiority. Work Trauma, by definition, is an overwhelming, extraordinary experience.
2. Check your physical health. Stress-related diseases rarely carry obvious warning signals (e.g., hypertension – the silent killer). Read the current research on work stress and heart disease.
3. Research state and federal legal options (in a quarter of bullying cases, discrimination plays a role). Talk to an attorney. Maybe a demand letter can be written. Look for internal policies (harassment, violence, respect) for violations to report (fully expecting retaliation).
4. Start job searching

Step Three – Expose the Bully

The real risk was sustained when you were first targeted (Targets lose their job – involuntarily or by choice for their health’s sake – in 77.7% of cases). It is no riskier to attempt to dislodge the bully. Retaliation is a certainty. Have your escape route planned in advance. Remember, good employers purge bullies, most promote them.

1. Make the business case that the bully is “too expensive to keep.”
2. Stick to the bottom line. If you drift into tales about the emotional impact of the bully’s harassment, you will be discounted and discredited.
3. Give the employer one chance. If they side with the bully because of personal friendship (“he’s a great conversationalist and a lunch buddy”) or rationalize the mistreatment (“you have to understand that that is just how she is”), you will have to leave the job for your health’s sake. However, some employers are looking for reasons to purge their very difficult bully. You are the internal consultant with the necessary information. Help good employers purge.
4. The nature of your departure — either bringing sunshine to the dark side or leaving shrouded in silent shame — determines how long it takes you to rebound and get that next job, to function fully and to restore compromised health. Tell everyone about the petty tyrant for your health’s sake.You have nothing to be ashamed about. You were only doing the job you once loved.

All in all, your sanity is way more important then working in an environment where you are miserable and are being emotionally and physically drained. You deserve to be happy and it is not your fault that this happening to you. You deserve better move forward for that environment if you have to and take time to heal from the damage caused by that environment and embark on a new journey to a healthier work environment where you can thrive!

Make sure to check out more resources at:

The Workplace Bullying Institute

https://www.workplacebullying.org/