Finding “the one” is literally like finding a needle in a haystack or winning the lottery. I mean the likelihood of those things happening are pretty slim. I feel blessed to have found “the one” my soul mate, my best friend, etc.
But before all this even happened, I literally went through hell and back in the dating game. I dealt with the heartbreaks, the “friends with benefits relationships” I even thought that maybe men were not for me and began to question my sexuality. What really changed my mind set was when my mom, was diagnosed with HIV. The crazy part about it all was that she was married when she contracted the virus. Her husband, I mean the guy was a dog straight up. He was very promiscuous, the guy has 5 kids by 5 different baby mamas! I rest my case with that one.
Anyways, I became bitter over the years as I watched the virus break her down. It made me numb. I hated men at one point, I felt so much anger towards men, because of what happend to my mom and also due to some of my past experiences. With this new mindset I embarked on a journey of self discovery. I started to really evaluate what I wanted for myself and what I deserved if ever I one day decided to enter into a relationship.
I can remember times where some old exes from the past would contact me wanting to “hookup”. Now prior to my new mindset I probably would of given into such advances, but I didn’t, I was always reminded of my mom and what happened to her. At times I felt so much loneliness. In hopes to combat the loneliness I kept myself busy by working multiple jobs and going to school.
How I Met My Husband
So…this all leads up to me meeting my husband. As I stated I worked multiple jobs and attended school as well so the chances of meeting or dating were almost impossible. All my jobs were human services positions in a residential facility at the time.
I can remember the day I met my husband it cracks me up just thinking about. The reason is, I looked a hot mess that day, I was not all dolled up or anything. I had on a scarf and some black sweat pants. I was working with one of my clients when I noticed this really tall dark skinned muscular black man who walked into the residence. I asked him what he was there to do, he stated that he was there to distribute client medications. I told him that I would be in the living room area working with my client and that he was more than welcome to interrupt if he needed any assistance.
Here comes the funny part guys…as I am working with my client I notice from the corner of my eye that he is totally checking me out. But I pay him no mind and continue working with my client. Then the client taps me and says “ouuu Flo I think that big black guy likes you” I simply redirect my client and assure him that , that is not true and that he is there to handle the meds.
After he is done with the meds I walk him out and he slips me his name and number. I took his number knowing damn well that I probably wasn’t going to call him at all. So one day on my day off, I can remember there was a snowstorm that night. I decided to do laundry and out of the blue his number falls out of my sweatpant pocket. I took the piece of paper with his number and held on to it for a few minutes.
Eventually, out of boredom I decided to send him a text. He responded immediately which was super weird to me. He then began to tell me how he missed me and how he loved me. I was totally turned off by this, it was a major red flag to me. Being the blunt person that I am I told him straight up to never tell me that he misses me or loves me because he doesn’t even know me. He immediately starts apologizing and begging me to forgive him which I thought was hilarious. I decided to talk to him via text and on the phone. I guess I decided to entertain the whole thing because at the time I was bored and lonely.
In my mind I knew that I would probably just be this guy’s friend and nothing more. After all I hated men and my heart was numb. Secondly, I had told myself that I would never ever want to date an African or Haitian guy especially not a Haitian guy for many reasons I cannot write in this post so don’t get mad.
Anyways, we soon developed a friendship, we were like peas in a pod. He would take me to work and pick me up. At the time I was living with godmother. He would stop by and come upstairs to greet her which I thought was super respectful and she did too. I remember there was a time when I had the flu and he brought me medicine and prayed with me to comfort me. Despite all the good things he did for me I still wasn’t really into him like that I saw him as a friend. I asked God to soften and open my heart to his love, because deep down inside I knew this man was like no other. Eventually, he grew on me but I still had this fear and was a bit guarded, but some how my walls started coming down.
He asked me to be his girlfriend, I was a bit apprehensive and told him that I would think about it. I consulted my godmother she said that I should go for it and that he is a nice guy compared to my other exes. So, after a couple of days of thinking about it I told him yes. The reason why I even agreed to be his girlfriend was because we were on the same page, in regards to what we wanted out of a relationship. We both wanted marriage, which was great.
After a year of dating, we knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and he asked me to be his wife I said yes. We moved in together and got married and from that moment on my life changed forever. He has made me the happiest woman, I am grateful that God sent him to me.
The take away from this whole story is to be open to love
1. Step away from your usual profile of guys or girl and try dating someone different.
2. Establish A friendship
3. Self-discovery-figure out who you are as person and what you truly want and deserve
4. Prayers/Positve thinking
1 thought on “Self Discovery & Finding “The One””
Love is hard to find and it is important to know when that one comes along to hold on to that person because you were head on when you stated “it’s like finding a needle in a haystack”.